Yes friends, I’ve managed to make it nearly 4 months now without proper employment. My workers comp benefits were (illegally) terminated over a month ago. In that time I’ve made ends meet by entering and winning a contest on the internet, writing news articles for websites, cashing in bonus points from my maxed out and delinquent credit card and begging for money from my girlfriend and parents.
So it’s not exactly my proudest moment, but at least I haven’t had to turn tricks yet.
I did have a crack at a couple jobs that sounded very promising in that time. And to my credit I was offered both of them, but turned them both down on general principle.
The first was about a month ago. I saw an ad that Whole Foods was seeking candidates for their management program. Now, being that I have years of both management and culinary experience, I figured I was a shoe in for what seemed like a very cushy job.
I was wrong.
Apparently, 7 years of management, 2 in a kitchen, along with a degree in culinary arts and an extensive background in shipping and receiving does not qualify you to train for management at Whole Foods. It does qualify you to make $10 an hour, working random shifts that start anywhere from 5am and go as late as 1am. If I stood out among the motley crew of 18 year old stoners and ex convicts on work release, perhaps after a year or two I could be considered management. I told them thanks, but not thanks. They were seriously offended. So was I.
Next, I had an offer from a kitchen I had visited back in March when I first moved here. They were starting a consulting branch, and had been offered a contract fixing up the restaurant at a multi-million dollar resort in Vermont that had fallen on hard times. Would I be interested in joining there newly formed consulting team? I interviewed with the owner’s who seemed genuinely impressed by me. I went and worked in their kitchen with them a few days. Everything was going well. They told me to pack my bags, I’d be moving to Vermont with them in 2 days.
Hold up.
I have a few small questions. Namely:
How long do I have to live in Vermont?
What exactly will I be doing in Vermont for you?
Where will I be living?
How much will I be making?
He could only answer one of those with any certainty and it was the last one. The answer wasn’t good. It was insulting. I was being offered what I had made at my previous job, about $600 a week. No benefits, no OT. I cold expect to work 7 days a week, at least 70 hours a week initially. How long was initially I asked? Maybe indefinitely was a better word he conceded. How long was I to stay? Indefinitely seemed to be the word again. Where would I live? I’d have 2 weeks in a hotel room (most likely with a roommate) after that “we’ll work something out… no more than maybe $100 week”. Work something out? Like a dorm? “Probably something like a dorm, he admitted.
Let me get this straight… I’m supposed to drop everything and move to Vermont of all places, the day after tomorrow, leaving my girlfriend behind and still paying rent on my apartment, to make $600 a week ($500 after room and board), which is less than $10 an hour considering my schedule… and I’m supposed to do it for god knows how long.
No thanks.
Again, they didn’t quite understand why I wasn’t jumping at the opportunity.
Fucking New York.
